The Problem With Loneliness
by RoraShigoto
Summary: The problem with loneliness is that, unlike other forms of suffering, it teaches us nothing, leads us nowhere, and generally devalues us in the our own eyes and in the eyes of others...For me, loneliness was never a problem.Until Demyx stepped in...:Zemyx


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters. I promise.

**This has been rewritten. I plan to rewrite the entire thing. In hopes of maybe getting a little more publicity... But more so in hopes of getting back into writing. I've never been completely happy going back and rereading over this. So I'm going to change that as much as I can. If you'd like to reread this, go ahead. There are a bit more details this time. I like it. C;**

**To new readers, enjoy this. I hope you like it...! And if you do, let me know what you think ok? I love hearing critique and all that. BUT. It issss being rewritten. This is the only chapter that has. So, I do ask that you either wait to read on, or just skim over the chapters when they are rewritten to get more of the story. I suggest just waiting. It will be muchhh better.**

**EDIT: AH-HA! I'm back bitches. And wow I'm actually going to rewrite this! Here goes! This chapter has been edited again, so feel free to reread, if you wish. 7/22/13, it's been a while.**

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"What do you want now?" I asked the oh-so annoying blond male that had slung his arm over my shoulders.

"Aw, Zexy!" He grinned and looked at me with that face that bugged the living hell out of me because I loved it and hated it at the same time. "I just wanted to know about tonight." Wait, were we going somewhere? Where? Oh, that's right! Of course... they dragged me to the movies because they hate me. I know it. I could be doing so many things. Studying, watching NCIS, anything. But, no. They know how I dislike it, so they decide that's where we go every Friday night. Nuh-uh. Not tonight. There's no way I'm going tonight. And if Demyx doesn't stop that stupid pout, I'm going to punch it off his face.

Fight it, Zexion, fight it! Aw fuck.

"Fine," I muttered, while dropping my head. Every time; it gets me every single time!

As he bell rang, Axel, Roxas, Demyx, and I headed towards the school. I have no idea how is started, but now it was just a daily routine. Every morning I'd wake up, get ready, go downstairs, just to see Axel and Demyx waiting in Axel's car outside. I'd get in and we would go get Roxas, drop by the coffee place, and then head to school. At school, we would wait 30 minutes under our favorite tree for the bell to ring. Then we go inside, greet the other people we all call friends in the hall, get our stuff, and get to class together. I don't even know when they started hanging around me so much.

Back story time. I met Demyx and Axel in ninth grade. Back then Axel didn't like me because he and Demyx were going out, and I suppose Axel got threatened by Demyx's sudden interest in me. It all changed when Roxas came along in tenth grade, Axel took a liking to him and Demyx understood, saying that it was only a fling that he and Axel had going on. That's when he became clingy to me. I wasn't gay. I'm not gay. I will never be gay. But did that matter to Demyx? Apparently not. He didn't really bother me much about it. It was just a small peck on the cheek or a hug, but it was obvious. I didn't like people trying to make their way into my life, yet somehow Demyx had gotten himself and all the others into it. It was weird that he had just came up to me one day, introduced himself, then decided he likes me... Well, it's weird to me. Not so much to Demyx or anyone else that knows him.

And here we are in eleventh grade now. Demyx is still madly in 'like' with me, and Axel and Roxas are all over each other, all the time. Lovely. Secretly, and this is just between me and whoever the hell is going to read this, I had grown to not even mind Demyx's nonchalant affection. In fact, and I'd deny it if the point was ever brought up, but sometimes I looked forward to it.

But I wasn't gay. No. Not even a little bit.

We got to the classroom and I read silently as the three of them got caught up in a conversation. As always, the teacher came in late, telling us to sit down, get our books out, and all that bull. Demyx took his place to my right as Axel sat in front of me, and Roxas sat in front of Demyx. This routine is never going to change, I could feel it.

"Okay, let's begin roll... Kairi..." I buried my face into my book once more, stumbling out a small 'here' as my name was called. Class was the same as always, again settling itself into my routine. I was rarely called on, and glad for that. Of course, the teacher knew I wasn't paying attention, too busy idly passing time reading. It never got old, and Demyx never understood why I read so much and isolated myself. I just did not like people, and that's how it has always been. I could barely put up with my friends sometimes.

A note silently plopped onto my desk. Sighing, I picked it up and opened it. This was the same, too. Well, at least most of the time. Every other day or so, they would start a chain letter type thing. Axel would always be the first to write "Hey." Then Roxas a "Hi" or "What's up?" And Demyx's reply would always be random. Because that is how he likes his life: random. I like mine as it usually is, a complete daily routine... a schedule.

Today Demyx decided to talk about the show he's going to next week on Saturday.

"Are you guys gonna get to come?" I think he's filthy rich, but he's modest... and instead says it's his parents that are rich, not him. His parents had bought us all tickets to go to some rock concert, and my step-mom told me to go, saying I don't get out much. I'm not sure if I want to go, I know there's going to be people there, but I also knew Demyx was going. I'm not sure why, but knowing he was going sort of made me want to go. Especially since I can hate his guts with a burning fiery passion sometimes, because he can get on my nerves oh-so well.

After debating on it, I wrote a small "yes" and slipped the note over Axel's shoulder. The red head answered and gave the note to Roxas who followed suit and gave it to Demyx, and I saw him smile widely and write something in his rather sloppy handwriting, then put the note back over on my desk.

"Yea, I'm going, I'll pick you guys up around 5 or 6."

"Yeah, I had to clean my room to be able to go, bastard, but I'm going."

"Great! It starts at 8, so that'll be perfect Axel."

I didn't have anything to add onto it, so I just folded the piece of paper back up and handed it to Axel, only to see the teacher looking at us sternly.

"Boys," she said to us with a frown. "See me after class." _Damn._

xXx

"Gah! I'm totally screwed now! My parents are gonna flip out," Roxas whined as we headed to our lockers. Axel wrapped his arm around the shorter boy's shoulders and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Aw, come on Roxy!" I smirked. Roxas hated the nickname that Axel had chosen for him when they started going out. "It'll be okay. Detention isn't so bad, the teacher doesn't even pay attention, especially on Mondays so you can basically do whatever."

Demyx chuckled and jokingly said, "I'm sure I know what you guys wanna do in detention." Oh, bad thoughts, bad thoughts... ew. Axel was one who didn't care if anyone walked in on him making out, or even doing something more, with his boyfriend. There's no telling what he would actually really be willing to do in a classroom with Roxas.

Roxas pouted a bit and hit Demyx in the arm before muttering, "pervert."

We got to our lockers, which were conveniently side-by-side, thanks to Axel's way with the middle-aged advisor-lady. Totally not a lawsuit there or anything. We had split lockers, Axel and mine on the right, with Roxas and Demyx's to the left of ours. I, luckily, got the top of the locker, and Axel even threatened to burn the locker if I didn't switch. Too bad for him, but I thought it was funny when I pissed them off, since they do the same to me all the time. However, Axel almost DID burn our locker, but Demyx and Roxas had stopped him. Axel bent down and shoved his things in his bottom half, cursing as he hit his head. I switched my books from my history to my math book.

I headed the opposite direction of the trio, I had AP math, and so I wouldn't see Axel, Demyx, or Roxas until lunch.

The bad thing about math is that Saix, who was a grade ahead of me, was in it. He was not one to care about school, obviously, as he tirelessly failed classes. He was just as annoying as Demyx or Axel. Well, maybe not as annoying as Demyx...

"Hey Zexion!" The said boy waved to me as I took my seat in the back next to him. Oh this again. Ever since he got himself a new girlfriend, he's been in this really weird, unexplainable cheery mood. It's just strange. I merely gave a small wave back and pulled out my math book and, of course, the book that I had been reading for the past two days. Class went by, as it does every day.

xXx

I sat at the usual circular table with Axel, Demyx, Roxas, Marluxia, and Larxene. I have no idea why Larxene chose to sit with us a month ago, but it seemed she sat with us every day now. Before, she always sat with Selphie, Kairi, and Namine, all girls who didn't really want anything to do with us, but strangely liked to hang out with Larxene. Oh well. Not a big point to this story anyways. I sat between Demyx and Marluxia. They talking started and I, as another part of my routine, read.

I closed my book and looked at the clock. Damn. We still had 45 minutes left, and I had finished the book already, with nothing else to read. I sat silent and played Temple Run with my cracked phone, zoning out from the on-going conversation.

"Uh, guys, is Zexion okay?" I heard Axel's voice and snapped out of my daze. Demyx poked at the side of my head and I slapped his arm away.

"Yep! He's fine," Demyx smiled. The smile of his that I couldn't resist. That smile that made me want to grin from ear from ear, but I always fought it. I rarely smile; I rarely had anything to smile about. But Demyx's smile seemed contagious. There I go again, I zoned out, this time staring dumbly at Demyx. I wondered how he could be so happy and enthusiastic all the time.

"Zexion!" I looked up, seeing Roxas standing and staring at me like I had just killed someone.

"What?"

"Yes or no?"

"Umm, yes?" I had no idea what he asked but chose to ignore this fact and go with it. Roxas walked off for a moment and came back with ice cream. Oh. Ice cream. I really didn't want it, but I took it any way. I only finished half and asked Demyx if he wanted it; of course he gladly accepted it and ate it rather quickly.

Then the bell rang. Yay. Gym. I hate gym.

xXx

A basketball was thrown into the air toward me. I tried to dodge it. However, my reflexes were not fast enough. It hit my side and I groaned at the shock of pain. It knocked me down, but I quickly regained and stood up, dusting myself off.

"Zexy, you okay?" Demyx yelled to me. I nodded and walked over to him. The game resumed, with me hiding behind Demyx's large frame from more violently flying basketballs. It finally ended. I hate gym. Did I mention that?

What a dumb idea, right? Let's take a group of testosterone-filled teenage boys and let them throw things around at each other. Great. Fucking. Idea.

We headed to the locker rooms, which I also disliked. I changed back to my tight black long-sleeve shirt (which everyone agreed I was crazy for wearing) and loose jeans. I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible because the smell was killing me. I was lucky that I was inactive, so I don't sweat, so I don't have to take a shower. Demyx had taken a quick shower, I could tell, he ran over to my side and slammed his arm around my shoulders. He seemed to be getting into a habit of doing that.

I sighed. "Yes Demyx?"

"What? I just wanted to walk with you back to class." I looked at him and blushed. He only wore a white towel wrapped around his waist and his hair, strangely still standing up, was soaked. My sweater was getting wet from the water on his arm. I shoved it off and turned to him, not daring to look down.

"Um, Demyx," My eyes wandered down on their own accord and I quickly looked away. "Get dressed..."

He smiled sheepishly and went off to put his clothes back on, his hair still a bit damp. We grabbed our bags and walked out of the locker rooms and down the halls to our next class, advanced chemistry. Axel's favorite class, he loved it because he could play with all kinds of explosive chemicals and fire... he's an insane pyro. This you should know for future reference.

"Hey guys," Roxas said as he and Axel walked into the classroom. Demyx waved to them before the teacher entered. We sat in the same order as we always do in classes that we all four have together. Which was only history and chemistry. The only difference about chemistry is that we sat two to a table. Demyx and I sat together, while in front of us sat Axel and Roxas.

The teacher started babbling, and this time I had to actually listen more, I knew everything in history and math, so I could read in those classes, but in chemistry I was almost clueless. As I stated: this was Axel's class. Luckily, it passed by quickly... that meant school was over for the day.

xXx

I got home and changed my shirt to a plain black T-shirt. I liked simple shirts. I sat down on my bed and picked up a new book. I read for what seemed like an hour. Finally, I heard a car pull up near my house and a horn honked three times. I got up and ran down the stairs and out to Axel's car. I packed in to the back seat next to Demyx.

"Isn't Marluxia and everyone coming?" Roxas asked from his place in the passenger's seat.

"No, it's just us tonight; they had to go to some place this weekend, Radiant Garden, Hallow Bastion, or something or other..." Axel responded as we pulled into the parking lot of the theater. We got out of the car and bought our tickets. I didn't pay attention to what movie they decided on seeing. I didn't really care anyway. We got two medium popcorns and two medium sodas. Demyx also got some kind of candy and shoved two pieces into my mouth.

They were chocolate with white sprinkles on it and it tasted, as much I didn't want to admit it, good. We took our seats as previews started to play. Demyx sat down first, I sat by him, Axel sat on my other side, and Roxas sat next to Axel. I started taking some popcorn, and found it kind of addicting. I looked over, stopping myself from eating more of the greasy snack food, and saw that Axel had actually gotten his arm successfully around Roxas. I turned my head back to the screen when the two started making out.

The movie started and I found out that we came to see a movie I had never heard of. How nice. One of the worst things that bothered me about the theater is that I could not stay focused on the movie for long. I laid my head on Demyx's shoulder, closing my eyes, and felt an arm go around my shoulders. It didn't bother me, which surprised me. I ate the popcorn subconsciously as Demyx seemed to watch the movie intently.

I felt something against my forehead and looked up. I saw Demyx smiling down at me as he caught my lips in a warm, gentle kiss. I didn't pull back, which I think he expected me to, but I didn't. I leaned carefully into the kiss, deepening it. I felt a small smile cross over Demyx's lips. He lightly bit my lip and I felt his tongue enter my mouth, exploring and learning every bit of it. I pushed my own tongue playfully back, doing the same. He tasted like chocolate, from the candy most likely.

We pulled away and Demyx looked a bit shocked. I smiled lightly and leaned up to give him a quick kiss. Once again he pulled me in and gave another gentle kiss. My mind was in a whirlwind. I didn't know what I was doing anymore, did I really just kiss Demyx? Demyx Suzumara? I didn't fight back, I actually kissed him back. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Was this really happening? I felt eyes on my back and pulled away to turn and see who was looking at me.

Axel and Roxas stared in surprise, Roxas' mouth dropped open and Axel's eyes were wide. I blushed and sat upright in my chair. Demyx, a little disappointed, did the same, but wrapped his arm around me once more. I didn't show it, but I was secretly enjoying every moment of it.

I suppose this is what drives me crazy about Demyx. I hate to admit it, really, but I think he's gotten to me. All the little touches and pecks on the cheek. I secretly kind of liked it. I think he knew that. But at the same time, I hated them. I hated how he had actually worked his way into me, making me grow a soft spot for him.

After the movie we all piled into Axel's car again. "Where to?" He asked us. It seemed that every time we saw a movie (every single fuckin' Friday) we all went over to somebody's house for the night, and then we would go hang out somewhere, usually the mall, on Saturday.

"Well, my parents are out of town this weekend, but my brother's still there," Roxas said, looking at his phone, most likely texting, as always. Axel looked a little amused.

"Alright," he said as he pulled out of the parking lot. "Your house it is, Roxas." I could tell Axel had one of his infamous smirks on his face.

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I am going to say two things about this: this is not about Zexion and Demyx falling in love. That's why there is intimacy in the first chapter. This story is about the two _being_ in love. Please try to understand this as you read on.

And another thing: there will be angst. A lot of sadness. And sex. There will be guy on guy sex. If you can not handle that, it's perfectly fine. You don't have to read those chapters. They aren't really needed, you just need to know that they're there.  
Now, about the angst and sadness, drama, and mild substance abuse. Many things of that. I hope none of it is too sad, really. But it is very angst-y. I hope that doesn't draw you away from this story, because I would love to have readers of all kinds. If that makes any sense to you. That being said, I do bid you adieu.

**EDIT: Thanks for the reviews, they got me off my ass finally getting around to doing this.**

**Much respect, much love. Goodbye!**


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